hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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