Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
