we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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