Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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