who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
