YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Randomize
