you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
