Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my being single is dangerous.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
be right there i have to get my cape
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Randomize
