my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
