His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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