If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
