He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
