we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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