Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
