Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
organizing the empties. That sober.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
