I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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