Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
