accomplished twins. life is a go
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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