Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize