is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She bit a glass in half.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
