Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
