Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
another moral hangover. fuck.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
