remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm passing your future prison.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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