Whoa Z and x make the same sound
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
