listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
