I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize