did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize