I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
