i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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