Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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