you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
