we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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