You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I just put wine in my tea
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
