Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
