So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
