dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
