I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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