They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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