What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
wat bout pragnant strippers??
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also, beer. Big fan.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
