I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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