Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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