ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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