Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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