My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
