yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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