you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize