So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
