I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
