a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
