You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize