Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
