I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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