I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
