just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You made out with two different species that night
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
