Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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