And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
please don't ironically join a cult
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