I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Randomize