I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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