I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
