my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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