At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Actions speak louder than pants.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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