Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Bring me that man meat
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
