not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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