i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
