just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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