All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
