dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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